Divorce & PTSD : Understanding the crisis at hand!

I came across an article by Jake Kail, a self proclaimed “deliverance minister.” The truth is there is no basis for a deliverance ministry in the New Testament. There was the casting out of devils but no one that specialized as their spiritual gift.

His article about people being demonized by the “spirit of death” is beyond dangerous. A believer can not be demonized and saying that a demon and the Spirit of God can co-exist is dangerous theology at best. Jesus bought our deliverance when He died for our sin. Colossians is clear on this.

The problem with deliverance ministries is that they have a foundation that is based in a powerful devil and a weak view of the Cross. They believe some encounter will set a person free so the “man of God” looks amazing; instead of the attention being on the delivering power of Jesus. Sometimes it is just bad theology and sometimes, the “deliverance” is rooted in the occult itself.

It is with this backdrop that we look at what was recently put out by Esther Company. Their mission is partly to, “a resource…for the church to recognize, understand… support for women in abusive relationships.” In other words, they build a rocky foundation theologically that women can divorce for abuse.

Denying the Divorce Crisis

In the article, he says that “The Church does not have a divorce crisis- they have an abuse crisis.” I can not even start to understand this biblically. Jesus never says what we should or should not do about abusive relationships but He went to great lengths to talk to us about divorce.

He goes on to make a list of reasons that women file for divorce and he would condone. Things like pornagraphy, anger, addiction and “other destructive behaviors.” While the discussion of adultery being grounds could be called into question for a believer, it is normally viewed by theologically conservative believers as the only way divorce can be accepted.

To give a quote,

The goal should not simply be marriages that don’t end in divorce, regardless of what is happening behind closed doors or what the health of the marriage is. Marriage is meant to be a beautiful picture of Christ and the church, not a dehumanizing, oppressive prison….Rather than a beautiful covenant bond, it is a prison….divorce is unfortunately sometimes the best option.

There is many things I could say about this and why this is false teaching. Marriage is not about you or your happiness. Marriage is about your holiness and forming you into Christ. There is NEVER a time that divorce is the “best option.” In fact, divorce is NEVER an option.

All this type of “teaching” does is leave people more broken, more broken homes, more broken sons who become broken mothers than have broken sons.

To be honest, there is NO time that a divorce should be the “best option.” Even if the husband is in prison for his addiction, the vows are still the vows. Until death do you part is just that….until death.

Broken lives matter

As someone who works closely with people who are homeless, traumatized, and in many cases suicidal; I have heard the stories. I have heard the pain. I have heard the cries. They long to have their families.It is not a question but a passion for them.

Restoration of families is always the heart of the Father. It always long to see healing relationally even if for the Registered Sex Offender. I have listen to the pain of a RSO that truly repented and got born again but his wife refused to accept that the old man is dead and the new man is alive.

To tell me that a man that has been abusive in the past before getting saved should have the sins that are dead in Christ against him is offensive. It is even more offensive coming from a man that claims to be a minister of the gospel.

The testimonies of these men and women who want to be together with their families speaks much louder to me than any pop psychology teaching of “emotional health.” The worldly message on emotionalism does not stand in my mind when compared to the stories of being transformed by the work of the Cross.

People like Jail Kail need to wake up and realize the real things that matters. It is called restoration of families. Yet, people like him encounter the brokenness of families. I literally shake my head at such nonsense.